Music attaches to a memory

Listening to the Pet Shop Boys’ album, Super, I always go back to my trip in Tallinn in 2016. The album was new, and I listened to it a lot while exploring Tallinn. Now every time I listen to Super, I always think about the tram rides, the massive national library, the old buildings at the harbor, the district near my hotel room and the sunny, crispy spring weather. I remember the thoughts I was going through, and the challenges I had at the time – having to do my taxes in the hotel room while trying to concentrate on music promotion in Tallinn Music Week. Spring has always been a very productive time for me, and I usually work while traveling, so this was not really an exception.

In 1999, I used to listen to Scooter’s album No Time to Chill while playing Unreal (the first one, which is a story-driven FPS game, unlike the more recent iterations). Every time to I listen to that album, I go back to the scenes in the game. The feelings return, and sometimes that can be quite an intense experience. Sometimes I feel sad and grateful at the same time. A voice in my head tells me that I should be grateful, but that’s a voice of reason and does not replace the feeling. Feelings are always stronger than the voice of reason.

Sadness is  a result of comparing your current situation to an earlier moment in life, where you felt joy and comfort. And if there’s too big of a contrast, it makes you want to go back to that time. That happens to me a lot, even though I am quite satisfied with my current life. These moments of longing can be turned into plans that make you do more of the stuff you know you enjoy.

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